Why Don't You Just Let it Go?
The secret of health, for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
~The Buddha
The ability to live in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.
~Abraham Maslow
If you are a worrier, chances are someone has said to you, “Why don’t you just let it go and live in the present moment.”
Ha. It’s so much easier said than done.
You don’t wake up one morning and decide to live in the present moment. We don’t just stop worrying and we can’t just let things go. That’s not how we’re built.
Our bodies are built to protect us from dangerous situations and people. If we avoid danger then we get to stay alive and keep our offspring alive.
Anxiety and worry stayed in the gene pool because it is adaptive. End of story. The fact that it is unpleasant is irrelevant — it’s an evolutionary advantage.
Just because you have decided (or someone has recommended) that you let something go doesn’t make it happen. We have to practice and teach our bodies to let things go by facing fears and not running away (e.g, to get over a public speaking fear you have to speak in public). You have to learn how not to believe what you think by challenging your thoughts (this is different from positive thinking). Finally, you have to learn how to train your mind to focus on the present moment with meditation or by developing your concentration.
Don’t feel bad and try not to get frustrated if it takes you longer than you think it should to learn how to live in the present moment. Get help if you need to - find a good therapist, meditation teacher, or a good self-help book.
One of my favorite new discoveries is the Introduction to Meditation class on zencast.org taught by Gil Fronsdal. This is an excellent resource if you want to study mindfulness and learn how to live in the present moment on your own.
This takes time and patience. It definitely doesn’t happen overnight but it is worth the effort. The good news is that it doesn’t take long to start seeing improvements — you simply get more skilled over time.